Accidental Southern Belle

Normally I do not discuss politics here...but I can't quite help it

Yesterday, I declared longingly "I wish I was a swing voter so that candidates would appeal to me."

Today I observe: every week (most often on Wednesday after THE MOST IMPORTANT PRIMARY EVER) they re-calculate which primary will be THE MOST IMPORTANT PRIMARY EVER and then that primary happens and then it turns out THEY WERE WRONG. And then they recalculate. And Tim Russert looks gleeful. He has looked VERY GLEEFUL lately--did anyone notice?

But this is the point: No primary will be important. None has been. None will be. All we can hope is that all of these people who are voting Democrat now will vote Democrat in the fall.

And then I realized that I would NEVER EVER BE A SWING VOTER.

What's a Master of Fine Arts to Do?

Well, I should be premature, I don't think I am officially a Master of Fine Arts until tomorrow. But, I must admit that I don't feel much mastery. I mean, I am probably a better writer than I was 3 years ago at this time...but that's about all. Still much to learn, ya know?

At this time when I was graduating from college, I had so much figured out, I had a fancy job and a trip to Europe planned. I might have had an apartment...but I can't remember. If I didn't, I would have one shortly.

It seems that now the prudent thing to do would be to get a lovely full-time job, get a new car that hasn't had its door replaced twice, forget about this WRITING thing. Or just do it as a hobby. Then again, there's two books in the drawer...what do you do with those?

This is not to say that I have tried to sell the newest addition to the drawer. I will try to do that after my sister's boyfriend the brilliant editor takes a look at it. But only if he thinks that it will work. Otherwise, it is back to the drawing board.

So, let's just say that graduating is a bit melancholy. I think it always is. So, now I am going to go play video games projected onto a large screen with some engineers and drink a bunch of wine. Rockin'.

Sick of Being Away

I woke up in the middle of the night with my laptop and my cellphone scattered all over the futon that I have been sleeping on in the empty apartment for over a week now...it might be two weeks. I don't know. But that made me feel kind of like I am insane. An empty apartment that I pack up every day so that it doesn't look like I live there. Today it is packed in the hope that I can actually LEAVE IT. A computer straining for internet access. The Gilmore Girls season 7 on DVD. It all seems so sad.

I can't believe that I am still here. It has been fun seeing everyone, but I am TIRED of driving around like a lunatic trying to find internet access and I miss my boyfriend and my house and my bed and my life. Although yesterday's post (was that yesterday) might have made light of this situation, I miss more than cable TV.

You know how Thomas Wolfe said that thing about not being able to go home again. It's true. Even though I lived here, it is not my home. Maybe one day Parker's Collision Center will allow me to return to my actual home.

In the past week

I have had a brick thrown through my car window, drove with a PLASTIC BAG on said window (I always mock people who are doing this and then that person was me....), spilled hot tea on myself and got a burn, fell down the stairs and got a huge scrape right NEXT to the burn. Developed the worst shin splints possible. I am literally almost crippled. I look as if I have been severely abused. Plus, I haven't watched ANYTHING on television in over a week.

And yet...not so unhappy. Except about the television part. I really like television and I miss it.

Ghosts and Jane Fonda

It seems that Vladimir Nabokov's son saw the ghost of his father who told him to publish his last unpublished book. Being that this is essentially the plot of MY BOOK, I am trying to think positively about this.

In other news, not only are my friends great WRITERS, but they are also talented DANCERS. Watch Joel and Allison "Do the Jane Fonda":

There are options

If you want to view photos of our trips to New York and New Orleans, click here.

If you want to view photos of Matt's trip to the lower 9th ward and the new levee construction, click here.

If you want to read about the silliest magazine ever created, click here.

If you want to see some smart people talk about literature, click here.

Now I will go to a party.

Home Sweet Home

We're back! Grumpy and exhausted and ready for bed.

It was a fun trip, yes, the photos are coming.

In other news, on David Letterman this Friday, he will give this fun fact: "Turns out that Martha Washington had splinters after sex" or something to this effect. Best part of this joke: the stately woman sitting next to us leaned over to my sister and asked "What kind of sex?"

I read Birds of America, which I probably should have done before I pursued my MFA, being that it was mentioned in EVERY CLASS I TOOK IN GRADUATE SCHOOL, sometimes twice. I liked it. I mean, I recognize the brilliance and the beauty, but I also felt like there was one-note being hit repeatedly, which is not the case in SELF HELP which I much prefer. But maybe I like funny/tragic more than I like tragic.   Or maybe reading short stories on a plane is a bad idea. Or maybe I was spoiled after reading When You Are Engulfed in Flames which comes out this June from David Sedaris. Anyway, I know it is sacrilidge not to like Birds of America and I don't not like it, I just think it might have been over-hyped. Or maybe I will re-read it soon and love it more. I feel that way about "People Like That Are the Only People Here" which reveals so much more every time I read it. So, I'm open on this one. Am not closing it down.

Ok. Done with being coherent. Now I watch television and drool.

The Monthly Worry

Am one day away from the end of a looong journey. I am up in the middle of the night doing my monthly worry. I can't help but think that if I kept more lists or schedules, I would avoid this worry, but maybe the monthly 4AM worry is good for me. Gets the blood flowing.

We've spent the weekend with the family which is...well...let's just say my cousin came to dinner last night and told us that the world would run better if
1. we grew food hydroponically on barges
2. police officers patrolled the streets via public bus and while they were at it, checked to make sure that people had paid their fare with their metro cards
3. we generated energy via desalination plants instead of via oil/gas/coal

All of these things are ridiculous. I don't even know what to say about them.

BUT, the "New Croton Dam" built RECENTLY in 1908 is very, very cool.

Gardens, earth-invading robots and parades

We're staying in this gorgeous hotel called the Place d' Arms, which is a collection of 18th century townhouses surrounding a courtyard. It really is paradise. I spent yesterday afternoon reading in a patch of sun surrounded by lush trees and ivy and a little kidney-shaped pool. These are some photos I stole from their website, I will have my own soon. Front:

Garden:

Divine, no?

Near the hotel, they are filming Robosapien, a movie that I assume is about a man-turned-robot who tries to destroy New Orleans. I moseyed by this morning, giving them the opportunity to SNATCH me up as an extra...but they didn't bite. I guess I'll have to spend the day typing instead.

Yesterday I found a fab used book store that I am going to go back to today and a coffee shop where I will hang out. We also ate dinner on a balcony above Bourbon Street last night which was so fun--we saw an impromptu parade.

Sing Along with New Orleans

Good morning from the bayou! We arrived in New Orleans yesterday and we already feel like we never left. I feel like I'm not even in America when I'm here (I mean, aside from all the silly Americans here....) it feels so like another world. Already, we've had delicious seafood at Deanie's, coffee and bengiets at Cafe Dumond and (drum roll please) I won $37.50 at a slot machine at Harrah's!

Beginner's luck, I'm sure: Matt says I am the most nervous and ridiculous gambler ever. (Please note that this is only the second time I have ever BEEN in a casino (it only took me 29 years) and the first time was three weeks ago when we were here last. I don't know how people gamble...it's just so stressful. ANYWAY, I clearly don't have the disposition for it (despite the fact that my PEOPLE (i.e. the old Jews) do  like the slots!)

I forgot to bring my camera around yesterday, so I didn't get a photo of the girl in the Southern Mississippi sweatshirt pushing her shitzu in a baby-sized stoller. Nor did I take a photo of us having hurricanes at Pat O'Briens (something we neglected to do last time we were here) and singing along to the piano bar singer. OH HOW I LOVE A SING-A-LONG.

Will hopefully have photos soon.