Accidental Southern Belle

I know an embarassingly lot about reality tv

This is my first mobile post. Yay! It will be brief. The essence of it is that reality tv is one of my passions. I like it more than reading and writing. But not more than I like NPR. But sometimes when my, ahem, extensive knowledge becomes clear in public, I become embarassed. I mean I am supposed to be a smart person and yet I adore a category of things that is SO silly it isn't even a question to mock it. And yet, I go on watching season 2,499 of the bachelor and wondering if temptation island will ever make a comeback. Now THAT's appointment TV.

What WAS Julio doing that made the Mama Pajama so mad?

Will Paul Simon tell? Watch to find out.

It is Difficult to be Instantly Gratified in Western Virginia when it comes to TV on DVD

The past few weeks have been super fun, running around New York, getting great news about job and writing. But I must admit, I'm happy to be back home again. Missed my bed and having a variety of clothing to choose from (although I am sadly wearing what was in my suitcase, so I guess that means I really only NEED three t-shirts, two dresses and two pairs of pants to be happy...)

Anyway, in the airport I discovered that THE WIRE Season 5 is out on DVD. I didn't buy it then because $50 seemed like a lot of money for it. But in retrospect, I should have. Spending this weekend watching THE WIRE would be the perfect thing to do and yet, I CAN'T. Do you know why?!

Well, Blockbuster which is the only game in town here re: rentals DOES NOT CARRY THE WIRE! Did you know about this? Why aren't people protesting in th streets? It is one of the best and most critically acclaimed shows on television and BLOCKBUSTER doesn't CARRY IT?! They do have it on their website, but I'm not a subscribe to that system. We do have Netflix, so we'll have it by the end of net week, but the PURPOSE of Blockbuster is instant gratification. Sigh. Living in the sticks DOES have its limitations. It almost always relates to being able to get TV shows on DVD. They didn't carry The Gilmore Girls either. Boo.

"Rescue Me" Rescues the Soggy Weekend

I know I'm the girl who recommends books (and who is apparently, against my will, the member of about 25 social networking sites relating to such things), but this weekend in the gloom and doom of rain-soaked 4th of July, I watched a season of Dennis Leary's "Rescue Me" on DVD. This is an amazing show, people. Leary writes it, so it is super funny and a bit crass. But it is also really poignant and about New York and firefighters. WHAT COULD BE BAD? So, if you are in a "The Wire" withdrawal period...this is one to watch. Also, while you're at it, peep this video of when Dennis Leary was on The Daily Show. Amazing. Did you know that they used to do stand up together?!

As they state in this video, there are now minisodes...which you can watch here. I haven't seen them yet, but as soon as I get my audio on my computer to work, I will.

Early 90's Right Back Atcha

Despite the fact that TWO YEARS AGO I made a Beverly Hills 90210 reference to my students who stared at me dumbly and then declared that I was old, I am still a fan. (Brandon or Dylan?! Who can decide?)

So I am  happy to announce that old episodes of said show are now available on CBS.com (including the one where they play Skeletons in the Closet!!!). Now they are probably a bit painful to watch right now. The eyebrows alone will kill you. But just knowing that they are there makes me happy. I fear the NEW 90210 that is coming around the bend, but that doesn't mean I won't watch it.

I think I am going to go listen to some Nirvana and wear a flannel shirt. Maybe THOSE will come back in style. A girl can dream.

Boxers and Lady Vice Presidents (not that different, apparently)

I was listening to Fresh Air on the way to class yesterday and I caught an excerpt of F.X. Toole reading from his story "The Monkey Look" which is the inspiration for Million Dollar Baby. The first few lines of this story are incredible: "I stop blood. I stop it between rounds for fighters so they can stay in the fight. Blood ruins some boys. It was that way with Sonny Liston, God rest his soul. Bad as he was, he'd see his own blood and fall apart." You can read the whole story here. Or listen to F.X. Toole read from it  on Fresh Air.

After class, we watched the AMAZING show Gossip Girl (watch last night's episode online) and then we accidentally saw Lynn Cheney on The Daily Show which was one of the more uncomfortable things I've ever seen....even Jon Stewart was uncomfortable. And, for real, Lynne Cheney GAVE JON STEWART A DARTH VADER DOLL. It was crazy.

TMZ: the website, the show, the universe

elOnce upon a time there was a website named TMZ.com and it was good. It was a website about celebrity gossip and it was snarky and had lots of exclusives about Britney and K-Fed.

Then, TMZ.com became a television program that is shown on my local Fox channel after the "One Hour Earlier" news at 10 (what a goofy thing to call a news program, by the way). Also, the local Fox channel here does not say "It's Ten PM, do you know where your children are?" like they do in New York. I assumed it was a universal Fox thing, but it isn't. That thing always kind of creeped me out, but I oddly miss it now because "One Hour Earlier" doesn't cut it.

Ok, but back to the real topic here which is the TMZ television show. So, after the show was created, it boggled my mind. I haven't actually been watching it because I have been going to sleep at like 8:30 because the world exhausts me, but last night I was up reading that Elizabeth Gilbert book Eat, Pray, Love, which is readable, but for goodness sakes I don't like her and her whiny problems, and probably because I don't really like her, I actually watched the TMZ show.

And this is how the show goes: they film celebrities on the street and stuff and then the celebrities tell them about how they don't like their website (Sarah Silverman tweaks the nipples of the cameraman and Alfonso Ribero says he is mad at them for making fun of him) and then they cut to a kind of office-like place where the people who write the website gossip MORE about the people who are commenting on the website to the camera poeple who stalk them on the street. (Last night the website writer girl said "Well, I may have written that Alfonso Ribero makes Wayne Brady look like Malcom X." And then the website editor cracks up (it is funny, but, that's not the point here)). And this is how the whole show is. It's like a show about a website commenting on itself. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!

It'd be totally post-post-modern if only it wasn't so dumb. I mean, when I say dumb, I mean, amazing, because I love celebrity gossip.

But, regardless, I think it is another sign of the apocalypse.

Top Chef Is the Best Show Ever: I Swear

It is possible that I am biased about this because I unabashedly love reality television. I will watch almost all reality television including The Biggest Loser. BUT the best reality show (other than Project Runway, but I fear that it may have jumped the fence when the person who won it had a neck tattoo--NECK TATTOO?!! how can you be fashionable and also have a neck tattoo. They are mutually exclusive. I'm sorry. They just are). So, the second best, perhaps overtaking the first best, is Top Chef. It is great. And it is in the best part now of who will win.

Two important things about Top Chef are: they are really stupidly over-commercializing it this season. Everything is an irritating product plug. And it's almost making it impossible to watch. But, luckily, guest judge Anthony Bourdain is making fun of it: "On the other hand we DID get all that nice B-roll of a gleaming RAV4 driving the contestants home from the boonies. I just hope that before leaving the campsite, everyone remembered to police their areas and deposit all waste in one of the Glad Family of trash bags."

(I know that this is ONLY entertaining to you if you watch the show obsessively, but I had to put it here for those who do. Seriously, read Anthony Bourdain's blogs they are snarky and great.)

Secondly, some of the contestants are just better/more interesting than the others (for God's sake, WHY OH WHY was Brian on for so long?! He is Boring Mc Boring-a-lot...that name doesn't even do him justice becuase it is more interesting than he is. Blah, blah, blah, that's what he is. So, you've got to check out this Onion AV Club thing about what your Top Chef fave means about you. Choice lines: "I would have answered Dale—partly because he resembles a cartoon dinosaur, but mostly because he's alternately annoying ("I've slept with a few cowboys!" Oooh...you're like the gay basic cable Mae West, Dale!) and boring (Has he ever not made a tart?)."

And, also in reference to Dale, "You consider yourself edgy, and may even use the word "edgy" in conversation, even though the "edgiest" thing you've ever done was get a nose ring, or wear a grafitti-print t-shirt."

And this is the funniest line of all: "If your favorite is Brian: You don't exist. Sorry, no one's favorite is Brian."

My favorite is Casey, which means "You were either in a sorority at some point, or very close to rushing. You use the word "soul" a lot, and probably own more than a few throw pillows with cutesy sayings ("Life is measured in shoes!"), or hilarious affirmations ("The Queen Of Mean")."

I am none of these things. But I like her. I can't help it. The blog post does point out that Hung made a Smurf village out of breakfast cereal which was, seriously, amazing. That could make him my favorite. But I've got to go with the girl power on this one.

We Do the Dance of Joy

This is mostly for my mom, but it can be enjoyed by all:

Two Good Things

Yesterday, I spent all day reading "Stone Animals" a story by Kelly Link that was in The 2005 Best American Short Stories anthology. It is also in her book Magic for Beginners. It is a FABULOUS story. It made me so happy. I haven't read something that I really, really liked in a long time. You should read it. Every single one of you.

The other good thing is that Galiel let me know that the This American Life TV show is available on Showtime.com. Watch it!